AMOR

Amor, tema que desenvolvemos desde que nascemos. Criamos inúmeros estereótipos sobre este sentimento. E por isso passamos a vida a buscá-lo, muitas vezes onde não tem. Ou então dispensamos o amor que julgamos pouco, por acreditar que merecemos mais.

Mas o que é o amor? Claro, não podemos generalizar. Afinal, o amor é CONSTRUÇÃO. Na verdade você aprende esse conceito ao longo de sua vida, de suas experiências, do que lhe é ensinado, pelo exemplo.

Falando sobre esse amor parental, que nos é apresentado como obrigação, como natural, apenas para “ilustração”. Se tem o mesmo sangue que o seu, então ama. Será que é assim mesmo? Se realmente pararmos para refletir, chegaremos à conclusão que não. Por exemplo, se você é adotado e não o sabe, ama sua família. E como não o sabe, ama independente do sangue.

O amor se constrói no dia a dia, com atitudes e demonstrações. Isso quer dizer então que amar seja fazer tudo por alguém? Não necessariamente. Esse pode ser o conceito daquela pessoa dita carente e mimada.

Mas por quê não devemos fazer tudo pela pessoa amada? Primeiro porque é necessário que a frustração faça parte da nossa vida e, sendo assim, ao fazer tudo para quem amamos acabamos não permitindo que essa pessoa amadureça emocionalmente. Dessa forma, ao querer fazer o bem, fazemos o mal. E segundo porque precisamos entender que o amor é a construção de cada um, através de sua história de vida e do que considera importante.

Muitas vezes fazemos algo julgando ser o nosso melhor, e no final das contas não chega aos pés do que a pessoa quer. Isso acontece porque somos diferentes. Precisamos valorizar mais o que fazem por nós, mesmo não nos parecendo muito. Até porque, o que realmente vale é a intenção em nos agradar.

Vivemos uma época de imediatismos, de descartáveis, das coisas prontas, das tecnologias! Não construímos, não consertamos, não preservamos… Damos o amor que aprendemos a dar. Nossa história e nossa família dizem muito sobre esse amor. Através delas compreendemos muito sobre uma pessoa, e sobre a forma que ela ama.

Questionamos o relacionamento alheio e damos opinião como se tudo fosse fácil. Na prática não é. Ninguém sabe o que se passa em um relacionamento, a não ser as pessoas que dele fazem parte. E mesmo quando ouvimos os desabafos/lamentos de uma das partes, não devemos tomar partido, pois toda versão contada é a visão daquele lado que conta.

A única coisa que se pode dar certeza no âmbito sentimental é: o amor faz bem! E temos que enfrentar as dificuldades sem permitir que elas afetem o sentimento. Mas precisamos avaliar a relação como um todo, se está fazendo bem ou mal, se mais faz sofrer do que traz alegrias.

Isso serve para amor parental, para amizade, para o trabalho ou para relacionamentos amorosos. Se não faz bem, não é bom!

Não é fácil amar quem é muito diferente de nós, mas o amor está justamente no respeito e na admiração de características que nem sempre temos. E por acaso, se ainda assim não estiver fazendo bem, o melhor e mais saudável é o afastamento.

E assim, no dia a dia, sabendo o que faz bem e mal, cuidando de si e do outro, e conhecendo bem a si mesmo, CONSTRÓI-SE o amor.

Baseado no texto de Samira Oliveira para Psiconlinews
Imagem: pexels-photo-510674
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