9 MANEIRAS QUE ALGUMAS PESSOAS UTILIZAM PARA SE APROVEITAR DE VOCÊ

Quando nos colocaram na mesma equipe para um projeto da faculdade, Sheila nos impressionou com sua aparente confiança e expertise. Mas foi Terri, Dan, e eu quem acabou fazendo todo o trabalho, enquanto ela contribuiu apenas com promessas vazias e um mundo de desculpas.

Nossa equipe concordou em se encontrar a cada semana durante uma hora antes da aula para trabalhar no projeto, mas Sheila se manteve ausente das reuniões. Em vez disso, a cada semana, ela aparecia na aula alegando que não tínhamos dito a ela, ou que não tinha conseguido ler os nossos e-mails, ou que ela tinha ficado presa no trânsito, ou que ela teve uma enxaqueca…

O projeto valia mais da metade da nossa nota do curso e estávamos ficando preocupados. Continuamos a nos reunir regularmente, preparando os artigos de pesquisa para o nosso projeto. Quando Sheila finalmente apareceu com um artigo, estava todo errado. Então Terri, Dan e eu escrevemos e concluímos o trabalho de grupo juntos. No dia da nossa apresentação, Sheila apareceu na sala de aula, e ficou cheia de sorrisos quando o nosso grupo recebeu nota 10.

Usando charme, negação, mentiras e se fazendo de vítima, Sheila demonstrou o que o psicólogo George Simon chamou de comportamento “agressivo encoberto”. Enquanto algumas pessoas descreveriam este comportamento como “passivo-agressivo”, como Simon aponta, não há nada de passivo nele.

Enganando e manipulando para conseguir o que querem, agressores secretos ativamente tentam controlar outras pessoas.

Aqui estão algumas das táticas que Simon descreve em seu livro, Em pele de cordeiro:

Sedução: Manipulam você com charme e bajulação, jogando com a sua necessidade de aprovação.

Mentindo: Contam mentiras descaradas, deturpando a verdade, ou sendo deliberadamente vagos.

Negação: Recusam-se a admitir que disseram ou fizeram algo, o que pode fazer com que você comece a duvidar de si mesmo.

Desatenção seletiva: Quando conseguem o que querem, deliberadamente tiram você do jogo e ignoram ativamente os seus pedidos ou e-mails.

Distração: Quando você faz uma pergunta, mudam de assunto para desviar o rumo da conversa.

Culpa: Usam a sua consciência e desejo de ser uma boa pessoa para lhe controlar e manipular.

Vergonha: Colocam você para baixo e usam o sarcasmo e comentários críticos para fazer você se sentir tão inadequado a ponto de ceder para eles.

Se fazem de vítimas: Se utilizam de queixas exageradas sobre suas dificuldades para fazerem você sentir pena e fazer o que eles querem que você faça.

Fingem ignorância ou confusão: Se ´´fazem de loucos´´, ou agem como se não soubessem do que você está falando, o que pode tirá-lo de equilíbrio e fazer você duvidar de si mesmo.

Alguma dessas táticas soam familiar? Alguma vez você já foi emocionalmente emboscado por um amigo, colega de trabalho ou membro da família? Saber é poder. Reconhecer esses truques podem ajudá-lo a se manter prevenido de ser emboscado.

Texto de Diane Dreher Ph.D. para psychologytoday.com
traduzido e adaptado por Psiconlinews
Imagem: pixabay
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