EXCESSO DE EXPECTATIVAS: COMO LIDAR?

“Viver é afinar o instrumento, de dentro pra fora, de fora pra dentro…”

Essa citação é de uma canção do compositor Walter Franco e ilustra com sabedoria o equilíbrio necessário entre o mundo interno e o externo.

No dia a dia atribulado estamos na maioria das vezes “olhando para fora”, preocupados em atender as expectativas externas, seja no trabalho, nas amizades, nas conquistas amorosas.

A cobrança vem de todos os lugares, nas matérias que dão a todo tempo dicas de como ser melhor e mais adequado, na insatisfação generalizada dos filhos, esposa, marido, chefe, colegas… Mas, a pior cobrança é a interna, constantemente presente junto com o sentimento de inadequação. Algo que frequentemente vem lembrar que talvez não sejamos bons suficientes naquilo que precisamos ser, como se não fossemos capazes de dar conta do recado em diversas áreas da vida.

Onde isso pode levar?

Perguntar-se, de tempos em tempos, se poderia estar fazendo melhor o que já faz é altamente produtivo e benéfico para melhorarmos como seres humanos.

Mas, quando a cobrança interna é excessiva suas conseqüências podem ser bastante danosas, levando a demasiadas preocupações. Ao invés da auto exigência trazer aceitação e reconhecimento para o indivíduo, o que ele encontra normalmente é grande ansiedade, esgotamento e frustração, prejudicando a confiança em si mesmo e a sua autoestima.

Por isso é importante perceber que colocar atenção e energia somente nas expectativas externas torna a pessoa vulnerável, a mercê da reação de terceiros, o que depende mais dos outros do que do próprio indivíduo. É necessário equilibrar esses dois aspectos adequadamente. Através da reflexão sobre o assunto é possível encontrar formas de dar vazão também às expectativas internas, fortalecendo-se interiormente para lidar com as exigências do mundo externo.

Como encontrar o equilíbrio?

O primeiro ponto é sair do automático. Antes de ser tomado pelas cobranças, é hora de parar e avaliar sinceramente qual o propósito das exigências que começam a surgir. O quanto daquilo é realmente seu e o quanto é do outro?

Conversar com o seu terapeuta ou um amigo de confiança pode ajudar bastante a tornar os pensamentos mais claros e conseguir fazer essa distinção.

À medida que isso vai sendo identificado fica mais fácil direcionar energia também para as necessidades internas. Não tenha medo de decepcionar, vá com cautela atendendo também aquilo que te faz bem, olhando com respeito e coragem para quem você realmente é e para os seus desejos. Busque um meio coerente de realizá-los.

Quando damos espaço para o nosso mundo interno, somos mais autênticos e automaticamente atraímos quem gosta de nós como realmente somos. Isso gera autoconfiança, melhora a nossa auto estima e ajuda a ter uma vida mais leve, com mais bem estar.

 Texto de Marcela Pimenta Pavan - Psicóloga Clínica
para o site acaminhodamudanca.wordpress.com

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