Crucificação e casamento

Ao olhar o casamento em sua essência pode-se considerar alguns aspectos distintos, sendo o primeiro e aquele que rapidamente vem à mente é sua função social, ou seja, na manutenção e no crescimento da sociedade. Pois esta prescinde da criação de filhos e da formação da família como base para sustentar-se. Difícil pensar na sociedade atual e na perpetuação da espécie sem o tradicional modelo de união. Com esta justificativa e compreensão, o casamento tem função social e essencialmente voltada para o homem físico e orgânico.

Guiados pela própria sociedade, os jovens nubentes são seduzidos e induzidos a buscar no par aquilo que falta em si mesmos, como se o outro viesse e tivesse como missão completar as lacunas. Responsabiliza-se cada um pelo sucesso da união bem como pela realização das fantasias e necessidades do outro. Tal modelo induz à acomodação coletiva, pois enquanto individualmente zela, igualmente abandona-se para ser cuidado, com a certeza, ou pelo menos com a expectativa, de que o outro irá preencher aquela falta que um dia foi sentida.

De ambas as partes há uma entrega exigente e socialmente justificada que virá satisfazer e atender as necessidades apresentadas. Cada indivíduo volta-se para o outro e passa a olhar para fora de si mesmo. Individualmente negligencia-se necessidades, carências e exigências, às quais encarrega-se o parceiro de preencher ou culpa-o por não fazê-lo

Facilmente ignora-se o vazio individual que o tempo, impiedosamente tornará presente. Aponta-se tais sentimentos de vazio e falta, como normais da rotina e do marasmo, classifica-se tais sentimentos como egoísmo ou falta de amor. Principalmente depois de algum tempo e com os anos de casados, pode começar a fazer sentido olhar o casamento por aquilo que deixou de ser ou, que de fato nunca conseguiu ter sido. Ou seja, o casamento também precisa ter o propósito de propiciar crescimento e transformação aos então loucamente apaixonados. O casamento precisa ser visto como a possibilidade do parceiro transcender a si mesmo e cada um colaborando com o processo evolutivo do outro. No entanto, para uma larga faixa de casais, o modelo do casamento atua como uma espécie de crucificação onde cada um é pregado nas estacas fincadas pelos compromissos e padrões sociais. Existem papéis definidos no sustento e manutenção da casa, no cuidado e educação dos filhos, bem como nas responsabilidades conjugais. Este tipo de união voltada para o serviço impede o desenvolvimento individual, pois cada parceiro não deixa o outro preencher-se daquilo que falta e lhe impede o crescimento pessoal.

Com o casamento voltado para o serviço, na aconchegante cama dos apaixonados, não apenas os cônjuges dormem de conchinha, mas na cômoda suavidade do servir repousa tranquilamente a ânsia por algo mais, a mola propulsora que faz cada um buscar sentido para a própria existência. Fatalmente chega-se a qualquer idade, exatamente àquela em que se credita já não ter mais tempo para nada, quando pensar no que se fez com a própria vida torna-se ladeira escorregadia rumo à depressão. Pressionados pelo medo das respostas e exigindo rápidas soluções, muitos terceirizam saídas imediatistas com gurus ou psicólogos. Os mais eufóricos trocam parceiros, antes escolhidos a dedo, para tentar uma nova sorte. A busca pode ter sucesso, mas a grande maioria tenderá ao fracasso se continuar a olhar para longe e para fora. Com vidas pautadas no prazer ou cegas no fazer, seguem o mesmo destino do anterior. Há que se manter os olhos bem abertos, mas voltados para dentro. Pois o casamento pode ser martírio quando observa apenas o aspecto humano e social, mas negligencia seu potencial espiritual. Tal união equilibra-se precariamente, pode desabar a qualquer momento sem forças para levantar-se. Sem egoísmo é preciso nivelar sentidos e estreitar o olhar para dentro tanto quanto para fora, pois a consciência e guia da jornada existencial pode ter dormido uma vida inteira no mesmo travesseiro, calçado os mesmos sapatos, pisado nas mesmas pedras, cheirado as mesmas flores e carregado os mesmos pesos, mas um dia, talvez já tarde, com os olhos mareados também olhará o mesmo por de sol.

Vale salientar o pensamento de James Hillman, ao sinalizar que: “Ao errar por poucos graus, no caminho para o Gólgota, pode ajoelhar-se frente ao ladrão”.

Texto de José Luiz Nauiack em 18 de Abril de 2018
Imagem: Pixabay - wedding-1246897_1920
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